Little Miss independent...

The other day I was preparing for an outdoor concert with a friend. I donned my sexy pink wellies, jeans and a pink rain coat, my hair was the 'just got out of bed look' tousled and wavy and I had no make up on apart from some tinted moisturiser.

I went to wait at the bus stop for a bus to town and as I arrived an older gent was eyeing me up. I stood behind him uncomfortably away from his wandering eyes, but he looked back at me and sparked up conversation about the buses. I was friendly towards him. He asked where I was going, and then suggested walking further down the road to get the choice of 4 buses rather than just the two from where we were standing. I don't frequent buses so this was news to me. I walked down with him and he comented that I was getting some admiring glances from cars passing by. He didn't really ask anything about me until we got on the bus and he sat next to me. He asked if I was single and when I said I was he did a character analysis about me based on our brief conversation about buses and how I looked and it went like this ....

'You look like a free spirit. I reckon you never stay in one place for a long time. I think you like to travel. You look really independent. I bet you don't want to settle down and have kids.'

I was horrified that this was the impression I was giving with my none made up face and pink wellies.

It occurred to me that one of the reasons I am single is because I may be giving off the wrong vibes! So what do I have to do to look like I want to settle down? Dye my hair brown and start dressing frumpily? Lol :) I am independent but I have to be because I am single. However I'd love to be with someone and feel looked after and cared for.

It occurred to me that I do get stereo typed with the boobs and blond hair. However I never dress tartily, and only wear full make up if I am going out in the town for a night on the tiles - which isn't often nowadays! I'm quite a contridiction to this stereo type, but I like how I look and I'm not changing that for anyone! :)

Relationship expert...

Thinking back on my escort experiences I think I'd make a rather good relationship adviser, and looking back at my last post - a coach for single men looking for relationships. After all I've spent 9 years dating through my job. I've dated both single men and married men, and I've learnt a lot about relationships and what men want out of them. Now there's food for thought .... :)

Grooming tips for single men....

Thinking about my next job maybe I should be an expert and start advising single men on how to find a woman :) Firstly for you single guys here's a list of how to present yourself...

I was inspired by one of my regular single gents to compile this list... and btw no these do not all apply to him! Lol

If you think about what you like for a woman, then just apply the same to yourself for example - if you appreciate the smell of a woman who wears perfume then...

- Make sure YOU are always smelling fresh with aftershave or some sort of fragrance, but not too much! :)

-Keep all facial, nasal and ear hair trimmed.

- Don't think 'I don't have a girlfriend so I don't have the make the effort' because if you think like that you'll never get one! Unfortunately in this world looks do count. You don't have to be the best looking bloke but you do need to look like you look after yourself and take care and pride in your appearance.

- Make sure your hair (if you have it) and glasses (if you wear them) suit your face. If you're not sure, just ask. Go to a proper hairdressers and speak to a stylist, and an optician regarding glasses.

- Clothing is difficult for men, especially single ones. Men tend to go for 'safe' options which make them blend in, and depending on colours you can also make yourself look washed out. If you have greyish hair and pale skin, don't go for greyish clothes and dull browns because they will wash you out even more. Go for colours like light to mid blue or even navy. Noone expects men to be an expert in the field of clothing, but it depends how much you actually want to find a special lady. If you're not having any luck then you should at least make sure that your appearence is sorted before you move onto building confidence etc... because once you look the part, you will start to feel the part, then when you feel it it's easier to act it!

I know men don't like asking for anything but you need to get over it! Lol. Shops like House of Frazer all have personal shoppers available and it's a free service. If you book an appointment they will talk through any clothes you want to buy and help advise you on a new look. Don't say 'no' to everything they pick up. It's good to try things you wouldn't normally try you will be surprised. Women are so good at shopping because we do ask advice and we do listen to what other people think, so we learn fast what suits us.

Look in mens magazines for ideas or take note of which celebrities styles you like. It's a good starting point if you get a personal shopper to take some ideas with you.

- Look tidy. I hate seeing slightly over weight men with oversized clothing all untucked. This makes you look bigger! The right sized shirt tucked in looks much nicer and will make you look trimmer! Just call me Gok Wan :))) hehe

- Stand up tall don't slouch and walk confidentally. This will be easier if you get yourself a style and you feel comfortable with what you are wearing.

- And don't forget the shoes women as you know are obsessed with shoes and we do take note of a mans shoes.

.... I guarentee if you take note of these tips women will start to take notice of you :)

The Girlfriend Experience/Rebecca Dakin - book feedback

Thank you all for your kind emails and feedback :) Here's some bits of emails I've received about the book. If anyone would like to add their thoughts on my book to this thread please do, and even better Amazon reviews will be very much appreciated :)

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It really makes fascinating reading - one of the most interesting I have read .... extremely well written and with a lovely writing style. You come across as as in "real" life a very caring person, with a lovely sense of humour. I'd say that if you took up writing full time you'd do very very well indeed. I'm sure you could write a few "fiction" romances for Mills and Boon just concentrating on your experiences in escorting alone!

I hope you will write at least one more book if not a series. Can't wait for another one though I am sure it must have been very time consuming. Of course it is also very 'brave' of you to write under your real name and I am sure that this book will help quite a number of other young women to see that escorting, if properly researched and appropriate safety precaustions taken can be a pretty rewarding occupation for those with talent and those who care about their clients.

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I've just finished reading a great book I just had to tell you about, I think you might know it - The Girlfriend Experience. Congratulations on having the courage to put in to writing your story, I found the book at times challenging, enlightening and thought provoking.

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If the book helps to de-mystify the escort profession, then that´s great. I always get the impression that people think there are only two types of escorts: The ones who are forced into it by poverty, pimps, drugs or a combination of those factors and the ones who live a life of luxury and glamour. And whilst there surely are a lot (unfortunately) who fall into the first category, there are probably only very few who fall into the latter category.

However, only very few people seem to realise those who have freely chosen to do this (although they are well-educated and have other opportunities) either as a full-time profession, a part-time job to augment their income or a secret hobby to spice up their not just their wallets but also their lives. Maybe if people were more aware of this part of the "market", then they would also see punters in a different light and not just as scum.

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Just wanted to say I'm half way through reading your book and think it's absolutely brilliant - I love your honesty and frankness! Well done hun and good luck for the future - Shame I never got the chance to meet you whilst you was working.

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One of my regulars J that I wrote about in my book text me to say.... ' Reading with aprehension, intrigue and much fondness.'

J has since emailed me...

Despite my reservations about the book, you have done a good job maid, I would even go as far to say its quite a brilliant 'OK' !
I've known you now for over 5 years a time in my life where things have not been particularly good for me but you've made me enjoy life and laugh again. Whatever the future holds there will always be a chapter in my life for you with very fond memories.

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Talksport Radio

I did it! - My first live radio in a studio! It was so much fun. I really enjoyed it. I was worried my nerves would get in the way but after a few minutes I settled in. Ian Collins the presenter put me at ease, and I was given a pint of lager to help things along :)

We discussed my job, the book and even the news! I was on for about an hour, and it flew by.

A couple of people text messaged me with some great feedback, so I think I did ok. You never know maybe that's my next job... presenting! :)

Talksport Radio

I'll be doing a live interview about my book on Talksport some time between 12.00 and 1.00 am Wednesday morning. I'll be off down to London tomorrow and I'll be stopping over night to do my interview in the early hours.

http://www.talksport.net

I hope I don't get asked about sport or I will be stuck! Lol :)