Sunday 25 October 2009

BBC Radio Solent live interview MONDAY 26th Oct...

I'll be on live from 2.30 pm and the interview will not be a discussion but rather a conversation with me about my life, my experiences, and my decision to write a book. The interview will last approximately 20 mins. It's available on playback for those who missed it but I'm not sure how long for.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/local/hampshire/hi/tv_and_radio/

I hope you all enjoy :) Please write any feedback on the interview here on my blog.

I really enjoyed my interview with Charlie. She was lovely and made me feel very welcome. I always find it awkward on radio interviews because they seem to cut you off suddenly which is frustrating when you are thinking of a couple of things you want to get into conversation. I was cut off before I had the chance to say 2 things firstly - that as much as I get on with guys (I have always had close male friends from a young age) I am also equally a girls girl and I think some ladies see me as some sort of femme fatale and husband stealer. The truth is I am very concious of other peoples feelings and certainly none of my friends have a problem with me being around their men. I am an extremely loyal person. I think it's a common misconception that even in our personal lives escorts will target and flirt with any man regardless of who they are with. I would never date a married man or a man with a girlfriend.

And secondly (thankfully Charlie added this in after I had gone) escorting is not something I'd recommend young girls to get into. Maybe this confused people and maybe some thought it was hypocritical but here's my reasoning - I consider myself very lucky to have spent 9 years in this profession and come out unscathed. It's an extremely dangerous job to be in, not for the reasons you might necessarily think ie the risk of physical violence (that's certainly never happened to me nor have I been anywhere close) but rather the risk of losing ones self respect and ending up on a slippery slope of alcoholism and/or drugs.


Monday 19 October 2009

BBC Radio Nottingham ...

I'll be on live briefly for 5 minutes discussing escorting tomorrow morning around 8.30 :)

Monday 12 October 2009

Notoreity - 'write about me please Bea!'

I got this email the other day. It really tickled me :) .....

I read your book Bea - nice job! So like I said it was very interesting and entertaining and a pretty honest insight into someone's personal life of adventure. Nothing seemed sugar-coated except for the horrible time you had putting up with me.(Thanks for leaving that part out.) No actually if I knew you were writing the book I'd have paid you to mention me - as vanity has it - and it's nice to piggy-back on another's fame or notoriety. Anyway I gave my copy to my best friend but wouldn't reveal that I was a client. Heh-heh. (I told him to read it to see if I were mentioned.) So I'm awaiting his reaction to your story that I found so intriguing.'

How funny so this guy Frank (pseudonym btw :) actually was disappointed I hadn't written about him! Lol. There's me carefully changing names, places, visual descriptions to avoid others knowing who I was speaking about, and yet there's some that actually wanted me to write about them and would cherish the fact I had remembered our date and that it was special and/or memorable enough for me to write about it in a book about my life story! Lol :)

Tuesday 6 October 2009

Teenage escorts...

I got a worrying text from a young 18 year old beautician this evening. It read -

'Times are getting hard for cash at the mo and I've been thinking a lot recently and I was wondering how old do you have to be to escort?'

Although the legal age for escorting is 18 I actually think it should be 25. At 18 you think you know everything when you don't, and it's a very vulnerable age to start. I would never encourage anyone to escort. It doesn't suit everyone and potentially it can be extremely damaging to a girls self worth.

Those that do decide to do it have to be doing it for the right reasons and certainly not if they are in any way unstable or are 'desperate for cash'. It's not for me to assess who is suitable and who is not and I certainly wouldn't want the responsibility of recommending someone to give it a go and then them getting messed up . I consider myself incredibly lucky to be unscathed after 9 years of escorting. I have been very disciplined and done things my own unique way and because of strict with the method of conducting my business I have kept my self respect and self worth. However lots and lots of girls lose it and end up hating men and turning to drugs and alcohol. I've discussed this in my book The Girlfriend Experience.

I had a young 18 year old friend when I first started escorting when I was 25. Unfortunately she decided that she wanted to start working as an escort. I was mortified. I couldn't discourage her so all I could do was to advise her as best as I could hope she listened to my advice to stay safe.

I gave her two very important pieces of advice and told her she was never to compromise them -

1 - to always tell her Mum where she was going, give her all the contact details of the person she was seeing and where she was staying and also when to expect her back.

2 - to never ever do anything she didn't want to do.

Unfortunately she didn't take my advice on either of these things and once I got a call from her mother at 10 am one morning telling me she hadn't returned home. She was expected back the previous evening and her mum hadn't heard from her. She had not left her mum any of the details. Her mum was extremely distressed and worried and so was I, especially because with no information there was nothing I or her mum could do, but wait for her to get home or get in touch. I advised her mum to wait a couple more hours and then phone the police to report her missing. She rocked up home, oblivious to all the stress and upset she had caused. The guy had basically asked her to stay longer and she had done so without telling her mum.

She also considered going to Thailand to meet a client. I asked her a series of questions -

Where is Thailand? 'I don't know'
What language do they speak? 'I don't know'
What currency do they use? 'I don't know'
Have you got a credit card? 'No'
How do you expect to get home if there are any problems? 'I don't know'
Do you know there is a lot of people trafficking in Thailand, especially young girls going missing? 'No'
Can you use your mobile phone there? 'I don't know'
Have you asked him to pay a deposit? 'No'
Have you got a reference from someone who has been to see him? 'No'
Are you going to be able to receive the full return ticket before you travel? 'I don't know'

She was crazy to consider going, but she thought I was jealous and trying to spoil her fun.

Another time she called me traumatised with a meeting with a disabled client who rudely hadn't informed her of his disability before she arrived. I would have taken quite a chunk of the fee for my inconvenience and left if I felt uncomfortable. She felt obliged to stay and go through with the meeting even though she was distressed because she was worried she'd get a 'bad review'. Sod the reviews! I won't compromise my comfort and safety for anyone!

I have turned down work, even though I have really needed money because I didn't feel that the job was for me, and I've taken payment holidays from my mortgage and struggled with the lack of cash, but I still wouldn't go and see just anyone. The problem is girls get greedy and want to earn as much money as possible, and that's when it can get dangerous.

I replied to the above text saying that the legal age is 18 but that there isn't much work around at the moment with the 'credit crunch' - especially for someone new who isn't known, starting out and that the market is saturated with girls - which is true. I hope this is enough to discourage her. Fingers crossed.

Update.... she's coming to mine next Friday and I've offered to help her with her CV, hopefully I can tweak that and give her some advice so she has some luck with getting some interviews and hopefully a job.




Monday 5 October 2009

Left Lion Extravaganza ....

I reached the pub in a panic, late, and as I swung the door open to wheel in my little case about 200 men's eyes wandered to the door to observe my arrival. I felt like a new species as I acutely felt my entrance spark very unwanted interest.

A new wave of panic waved over me as I tried to enter confidently and scan the hundreds of faces for a familiar face. Stairs, I saw the stairs, and knew that was where I was supposed to be. I couldn't wait to get away from the testosterone saturated crowd.

As I moved across the room I felt like prey as dozens of eyes followed my every move. Finally after what seemed like forever I reached the safety of the stairs and I made my way up, preparing myself to relax and calm my nerves.

Upstairs there was no sign of Nottingham's Mr Sex, Al, and all I saw was more men watching football on a large screen. I called and couldn't reach him, and I stood in the middle of it all feeling the panic rapidly rising.

My friend had gone to park the car. I felt totally out of place and incredibly uncomfortable. I decided a glass of wine might calm my nerves, and ordered a glass of the house wine, which was the only wine. Yup it was a man's pub for sure!

I stood at the side and surveyed my surroundings. This was not at all what I had expected. I had in mind an arty small crowd and a small intimate venue. I remember thinking it was odd to go from football to readings, but I was more concerned that I couldn't get hold of Al.

My breathing got shorter and shorter and my lip started quivering, my whole body shook uncontrollably. I was about to lose it! Sure enough the tears started rolling and I panicked. Big time! The realization of what I was about to do just hit me, and I was terrified!

Al finally called and said he was downstairs, and I was about to make my way downstairs when I realized I wasn't going to be able to take my wine, my bag and suitcase down the stairs safely with my 6" platform black sandles. Before you let you imagination run wild, I was wearing skinny jeans with these and a loose red check shirt, showing a tad of cleavage. It was Saturday night after all! ;-p

In the panic I had lost all ability to think rationally, and actually called Al back to ask him whether I could leave my case upstairs. "Er yes" he answered. Oh god how embarrassing! I desperately willed myself to get a grip.

As I made my way downstairs into the lions den, I tried to look around without making eye contact with anyone, which was incredibly difficult, especially when you can feel yourself being watched. I called Al again as I stood with my back to the door staring at the sea of faces.

The penny finally dropped. I was in the wrong pub! How could I have been so careless? I mean me, super planner, organiser that always likes to be early and prepared.

I had got into my head I was meeting Al at the Horn in the Hand! I have no idea why because I have never been to that pub, so how I got the name logged in my head as my meeting and performing place I have no idea!

Just then my friend arrived from parking the car. We both went up the stairs away from the prying eyes and I tearfully gave her the run-down of my little drama. She was very good, very calming and told me not to worry, she got herself a J20 and we decided we'd finish our drinks and make our way to the correct pub, The Hand on the Heart.

Time was getting on and being late made me panic even more. I was supposed to meeting Al at 5pm, to go through all the questions I was going to be asked about my book that evening at The Left Lions Circus Extravaganza. I was due on at 6.45 and it was now 6pm.

I had been planning and preparing all day, but my friend turned up late and it was one big rush and disaster from there on in continuing with getting stuck going around the one way system in town.

We had to go back to the car and then re-park somewhere else. I made it to the pub at 6.15 and Al and I finally linked up. I was embarrassed, tearful and apologetic. I hate being late. We got drinks and sat in the corner of the pub and both briefly looked over the questions. I'd written down all my answers, not because I needed to learn them, I know what my thoughts are, but I was terrified I was going to forget, and that the pressure and nerves was going to disable my speech!

Although I could still feel panic, I was no longer upset. I was just concious acutely of nerves. My heart was hammering in my chest and I couldn't take a full breath.

Three friends had come to show their support so it was great to see some familiar faces. I was talking upstairs so shortly before I made my way up. Entering quietly I heard the last of some inspiring poetry. I scanned the crowd. They were all listening intently and definitely looked as I expected them to look - arty and studenty and very relaxed and chilled. Some were sitting on the floor and others on chairs and stools around the side. There must have been 30-40 people, so it wasn't too many. I still didn't relax though I was still terrified!

When the poetry finished there was a short break before me and Al took to the stage, and Al and I both nipped out for a crafty cig. I'm not a smoker, I'm one of those annoying social smokers that pick and choose when I want a cig, and it's usually when I'm out and having a few drinks, and it's usually dependent on whether I am out with smokers or not.

The ten minute break went quickly and we positioned our two chairs with a table in front of us for our glasses of water. Taking my seat next to Al, James introduced us. I thought I'd try and forget that I was in front of an audience and that I was just talking to Al. I was very comfortable with him and he can talk for England and oozes confidence so I tried to relax. He introduced me and asked if I wanted to read the extract I had suggested from my book. I was already there I was going to have to talk so I thought 'sod it' I may as well do as much as I can. Hell if I can jump into bed and be intimate with a random stranger and pretend to be a girlfriend this should be a walk in the park. Shouldn't it?

Deep breaths, talk slowly and clearly and I think I did. I did not look up. I then got a clap! Wow ok now for the questions. I did ok I think. I tried to be funny a few times and people laughed in the right places. I was by no means relaxed but it wasn't as bad as I had mounted it up to be in my head.With the way I was acting anyone would have thought I was going to be talking on stage to 1000 people all sitting down in suits!

It's the story of my life. I'm a serial worrier and even though I know that things are never as bad as I think they're going to be, it doesn't stop from escalating them in my head and making a situation as scary and daunting as possible! Talk about being hard on yourself and not making life easy! I'm not proud to say but I am the master of this.

We got to the end of the questions quickly and even though I am sure I missed out a few points I wanted to make, and stumbled a bit, I really think I did ok. When the questions were opened up to the floor, I got apprehensive. Was there going to be some raging feminist that was about to rip me apart? No, just some genuinely interested nice people with great questions, nothing too probing, uncomfortable or intrusive.

It was over before I knew it, and I got another clap! :) I sold 2 books and a couple of people complimented me after, which was nice.

I could finally relax with my friends, get another glass of wine - large - and have another ciggie, before going back to the upstairs room to listen to Al's readings. They were hilarious. He has the perfect face and voice for telling his funny stories. When he looks dead pan above his glasses, pauses, and slowly talks through his antics and letters he received as an editor of top shelf magazines, the whole room was roaring with laughter!

A massive thank you to James and the rest of the Left Lion crew for inviting me on the gig, and for organizing it all and to Al for guiding me patiently through my first public speaking. I hope the Left Lion Extravaganza will be a regular thing!


PS; thankfully my lip had healed apart from a small scab that easily covered with a bit of makeup :)