Agony Aunt Bea...

In my book (The Girlfriend Experience) one of the things I mention that I'd like to do is be an Agony Aunt, so here’s the start of my agony Aunt advice. I’m going to make do with the blog until I get my own column :) If you don’t mind your email being put on my blog please feel free to email me (b@miss-b.net) with your ‘love and relationship dilemmas’ and I’ll post them on my blog and reply with my advice.



Dear Aunty Bea,

I am three weeks into the process of getting divorced after 17 years of marriage which has been completely dead for several years, and I have no feelings whatsoever for my ex. I would love to do some relaxed and friendly dating, but am aware that I get emotionally attached very easily. I do feel that if I had several casual dates I could get a better handle on things.

Am I being completely unrealistic in wanting to date at this time? Do you have any useful tips for me to enjoy myself and not get too serious? Or should I just allow myself to enjoy falling in love without being obsessive or worrying too much about where it is going, and let things run their natural course? (I fell in love this morning with my HR lady who has the most gorgeous smile, I spent a delightful half an hour talking with her, and leaving it at that is just fine!)


Bill G.



Hi Bill,

First of all - step away from the ladies! Lol :) You’ve been married for 17 years and will have a number of emotions to deal with right now. I imagine that you will be in a very fragile state. You already admitted to yourself that you get emotionally attached very easily, so why put yourself through potentially more heartbreak so soon? My advice would be to take a break.

Personally I think you need to take time to work on yourself before you even think about dating again, so you can get yourself in the right state of mind mentally. You need to be happy and confident with yourself as a person and all other areas of your life - work, friends, home.

I’d concentrate on building up your confidence generally with people. You need to be mingling with both men and women. How about a hobby? I know it sounds cheesy but think it would be good for you to put your energies and enthusiasm into an interest, or a club. What would you enjoy; something extreme? A sailing club? Flying? Skiiing? Is there something you’ve always wanted to do but never had the time for? Photography? Painting? Martial Arts? You need to find something you enjoy and try and put your quest for love on the back burner for a good long while.

This is the area I think you should be building on during a divorce. Not talking about falling in love! That’s just crazy.

Falling in love with the HR lady after talking to her for half an hour is not healthy, and I’d advise you not to say anything to her about it because she’ll run a mile. She was just being friendly and trust me us women get tired of men getting the wrong idea just because we smile and are friendly towards them.

I’m not saying don’t date, but I would take your time, and preferably a long time! For now enjoy the other pleasures life can offer.

Good luck with it all, and I hope the divorce gets sorted quickly without causing you too much stress and upset.

I hope this helps! Lots of love, Bea XXXX